Her Version
Where there is no vision, the people perish.
A vision statement guides your life and provides the direction necessary to chart the course of your days and the choices you make about your life.
As a single mother, I’m not sure I thought in terms of a vision statement, but I knew that providing for my son, not being another statistical unwed mother on welfare, getting a college degree, being authentic and honest, tithing, and pursuing my personal relationship with God were all very import to me. As a result, for two years, I worked 40 hours a week, took 15 to 16 hours a semester, faithfully prayed, attended bible study and worship service weekly, made the necessary sacrifices to ensure I paid my tithes, while never missing THAT party on campus.
Although times were tough, I was committed to fulfilling this vision because it represented the things that were important to me. Not only was I committed, I made the required sacrifices to accomplish each item because the vision was a representation of my core values and priorities.
You are probably thinking “what does this have to do with marriage”?
Well, I have to be honest, when I stood at the altar reciting my vows, I didn’t realize how “for better or for worse” would manifest in marriage. But, over the past 13 years, I’ve discovered that above and beyond “LOVE” a successful marriage requires commitment. Ah-yeah, the same type of commitment that I was willing to sacrifice to accomplish my personal dreams.
You see, in a marriage, a shared vision is a vision to which people are committed because it reflects their personal vision. Since saying “I Do”, I’ve also learned that it is impossible for the two to truly become one without connecting, compromising, and committing to a greater purpose. But first, you must understand what’s most important to you, so that you don’t find yourself signing up for someone else vision, resulting in compliance instead of commitment.
So, if you haven’t already, spend a few minutes jotting down the answer to these questions.
- What are you willing to fight for?
- What are you willing to spend money on?
- What are you willing to sacrifice for?
Now go share it with your mate and/or spouse.
His Version
Joel 2:28 “And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh…your sons and daughters shall prophesy…and your young men shall see visions.”
When I was younger (much younger), I had defined ideas for how I wanted my life to turn out especially in my adult years. Like most, I developed ideas of creating wealth, having a span of influence, attaining success, being well respected and starting a family of my own. These ideas were a part of a broader vision, some of which was created by my own desires, while others were from God speaking into me.
Looking back, I can say that parts of my overall vision have come to pass in some way, shape or form. But now, I’m no longer alone. I’ve got lifelong company and companionship compliments of my wife and the question now becomes, “What is OUR shared vision?” That can be a tough question for any couple to answer and even tougher to lay out steps toward discovery. I’ve always told my wife that God has put us together for a reason. In a lot of ways, knowing that is the very thing that has held us together through the “not so good” times in our marriage.
I do not believe God allows us to become one as husband and wife, raise children and do nothing more. Rather, He calls us to partner with one another, pouring our individual talents into a shared vision. It could be sports, education, ministry, community service, politics, civic involvement or anything else in between. Whatever your shared vision, you owe it to your marriage and to God to discover it and activate it. I’d suggest that you take the following steps toward discovery:
- Communicate: What are your shared interests? Where do your talents lie?
- Pray to God for clarity and the ordering of your thoughts and steps.
- Then write the vision.
Our Version
Our shared vision is grounded in a desire to help and be a blessing to others. This desire has manifested itself through the vehicle of couples’ ministry. It is the one thing we can undoubtedly say God had led us to do together. Within this ministry, we are able to help others navigate through the challenges of marriage; be transparent with our own marriage and; (we hope) reinforce the biblical principles which undergird the importance of marriage. Our shared vision is something that aligns with both of our personal visions, gives us purpose for our marriage, and more importantly glorifies God. All in which compels us to take steps toward fulfilling our vision.